A major theme in To the Lighthouse is the misunderstanding between people. Characters think and speak past each other, reading intention and feelings into others' actions and comments. All the while, they keep most of their own thoughts and opinions protected. This tendency is explored most explicitly through Lily, whose role as a detached artist gives her the opportunity to ruminate over these human tendencies. In one instance late in the novel, Lily considers her own judgment of Mr. Tansley. Woolf writes, "Half one's notions of other people were, after all, grotesque. They served private purposes of one's own" (Woolf 197). Lily understands that she has retained negative opinions of Tansley that are useful to her, but are inherently false.

Instead of maintaining her own bias, she must consider things she has heard from other people. She must learn to "look at him through [Mrs. Ramsay's] eyes" (197). To understand Mrs. Ramsay, however, "fifty pairs of eyes" (198) were not enough. And that is the same for anyone. It is only through time and distance that Lily is able to make sense of other people in her life. Years after Mrs. Ramsay's death, she is able to view her in a more complex way rather than through only admiration. In the first and third sections of the novel, Lily attempts to capture truth within her painting, and she needs the time and distance in order to complete her vision. Her feeling of success concludes the story, thereby demonstrating the unique ability of art to capture the complexity of human experience.